There’s this song that goes through my head every so often. I’m not the world’s best singer, so I won’t post a video of me attempting to sing but if you’re lucky, you might catch me singing along while I run.
That is, if you ever find me in Central Park or on the road or on a treadmill.
The song is “Be Me” by Eve and it goes something like “I’ve just gotta be me, be me…”
After that it gets a little explicit, but follow me for a little because I’m going to draw a parallel here that you may not expect.
What is it about this song by a female rapper/MC that you might have never heard of that ends up being so important to you?
Her words are pretty important.
If I’ve just gotta be me, then you’ve just gotta be you.
Okay, really Annette, I GET that. It’s a song, she’s trying to make a point. What’s the big deal?
The big deal is that this song has been traveling through my head and almost kept me awake the other night because it made something so simple so incredibly clear.
How many times do we see something that someone else is doing, see and then want their results but end up getting something totally different by doing exactly the same thing?
Take for instance, you see a really good friend of yours try out this new diet, this new way of eating. She’s been working at it for a month or a few months and she just looks amazing. You’re thrilled for her but wonder, well, if this worked so well for her and she looks amazing, why wouldn’t it work for me?
So you try it and it sucks. Big time.
It sucks, it’s hard and you actually gain weight.
Wtf?
That is so not what you wanted.
So instead of trying something else, maybe something that would work better for you, you just try her diet harder, stricter.
And still, NOTHING happens.
Hello frustration.
What I’m trying to show you and what Eve is trying to say to you is that maybe you’re making it too hard on yourself. Maybe you’re actually taking 2 steps in the completely wrong direction.
Maybe you need to do something that is just for you.
Designed for you. Made for you. Not something made for someone else.
Like it’s the anti- or non- whatever that you’re trying to do.
Like the anti-diet or the non-program of exercise.
Or if you prefer, the non-diet or the anti-program for exercise.
I think you get the point.
Let me get personal for a moment.
I’m going to give myself as an example and I really hope that you don’t take this the wrong way.
When it comes down to just being me, it’s been a rough journey.
I’ve had my moments of struggling, my moments of victory, my moments where I’ve just wanted to throw my hands up and just say f**k it. Nothing is working. This is not what I had wanted and most definitely not what I had planned.
Lately I’ve been doing a fair amount-i.e. A LOT- of personal growth and development work. Not because I think I’m damaged or anything, but because I feel like I’m totally worth it and that it’s time for me to step up my game.
I’ve never been so beat down and frustrated than I have been in the last few months.
(I really hope you couldn’t tell, BTW, even though that would be totally okay by me if you could.)
I’ve been in tears more often than I could imagine and have actually had several meltdowns that have reduced me to a crying lump of woman desperately clutching a pillow or stuffed animal.
Well, if that just doesn’t show you how cool and amazing I am, then get ready for this:
After all the studying, all the time and money invested in my business- I think I might want to scrap a lot of it and start over from scratch or almost scratch.
Why?
Oh yeah, I cringe every time I think of scrapping all of my hard word, don’t even think I haven’t noticed the clock ticking and days flying by on the calendar.
Because it’s not all me.
If I’ve just gotta be me, then what I do needs to be “me”.
And it all needs to reflect me.
And not someone else.
I’ve been taught that modeling someone else’s business is a great way to shorten your learning curve.
I totally agree. That does work.
IF what you’re modeling is true and authentic to you and how you plan on running your business.
Sometimes yes, absolutely, that is the way to go.
But it’s not 100% the way to go for me.
Part of it jives with how I want to work, but some of it feels like I’m a big, fat faker.
I don’t want to be fake or a fraud or anything like that with you, with my readers, with my clients, with anyone.
How is that going to help either of us? Seriously?
So I’m scrapping a lot of what I’ve been doing and now that I can admit that and admit that I was so excited the other night that it kept me up- there’s nothing else to do except to let that song run through my head.
Maybe post that song below for you.
Remind both of us that sometimes it just pays more to just be you.
And also remind you that it’s okay to model what you do or try or be after others, but in the end, it’s gotta be you.
Try it on, see if it fits. If it does, great! You’ve just saved yourself some major time.
If not, then keep going. Try something else.
And then something else.
And then something else.
And one day, it’ll just click. You’ll know.
It’ll fit and you’ll be able to just be you.
‘Cause I’ve just gotta be me, be me…
How do you find ways to just be you? Comment below and let me know what’s on your mind!
